


Confluence? No, That's Not Quite It

by GretchenSinister



Category: Rise of the Guardians (2012)
Genre: Gen, I thought this hinted at blacksand, but others didn't think so, schroedinger's ship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-02
Updated: 2019-08-02
Packaged: 2020-07-29 10:57:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20081056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GretchenSinister/pseuds/GretchenSinister
Summary: Original Prompt: "Every 100 years or so, there’s a big mandatory guardian reunion that no one likes going to. Everyone from every legend, myth, and fairytale will be there. Can be like those family reunions or high school reunions. Bickering, chaos, and hijinks ensue. Bonus points if Pitch is dragged into it."The Guardians and Pitch don’t know who arranges this neutral ground, but they know they don’t want to follow the schedule this time. Humans have come up with the idea of team-building exercises since then.





	Confluence? No, That's Not Quite It

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on Tumblr on 7/13/2016.

“What!” Pitch squawked, as he appeared in what appeared to be the lobby of a palatial, modern hotel. It looked very different from the last time he had appeared in such a place, but the atmosphere was the same. “After what happened last time, I thought this would never happen again!”  
  
And though he did have a habit of speaking to himself, he knew very well he wasn’t alone, now. Every time he had appeared in a place like this, the Guardians appeared right behind him. He whirled on the marble tile and faced them, though he knew very well that demanding an explanation wouldn’t do any good. They had been brought here in the same helpless state as him.   
  
Human.   
  
As usual, Bunny stood awkwardly, disgust written plainly on his features. North looked basically the same, Sandy had been stretched into possible human proportions (just as Pitch had been squashed into such), and Tooth was, as before, surprisingly tiny when she couldn’t hover. Ah, but this time Jack was with them. He looked as though he was going to trip over his own feet, or possibly puke, as he stared around at the room.  
  
Pitch could understand why. While it would be unsettling to see everyone popping into existence as they normally looked, it was downright disturbing to see everyone looking simply like a normal human as they did so.  
  
“But that is the thing, Pitch,” North said with a shrug. “Nothing happened last time. While we are here, there are no consequences.”  
  
“Oh my god,” Jack said—apparently in the abstract, but Pitch and the others glanced for anyone nearby, anyway. “Is this—I’ve been here twice before, but I thought those were just really weird, really long dreams. I—” He turned bright red. “I, uh, was just happy to interact with people I didn’t pass through.”  
  
“That is to be expected,” said North. Jack somehow seemed even more embarrassed by this nonchalant reaction. “Were you not bothered by those trying to get you to participate in the planned group activities, though?”  
  
All the other Guardians and Pitch made faces. The apparent schedule for whatever this event was was always bizarre and nonsensical, and would have been so even if everyone present was really human.  
  
Bunny swore under his breath. “Humanity’s come up with “team-building exercises” since the last time this happened,” he said direly.   
  
“I did not get ripped out of my dimension to fall on my ass onto tasteful carpet while no one catches me during a trust fall,” Pitch said. He folded his arms. “I’m going to order eggs benedict and three martinis for breakfast, lunch, and dinner every day and not come out of my room until I wake up safe in my lair again.”  
  
“You’ll get a mimosa or a bloody mary like a civilized person and you’ll like it,” Sandy interjected. He immediately looked shocked at himself, but not so much as Jack, who turned to him with delight and astonishment upon hearing that surprisingly deep, rich voice.  
  
“No one’s going to be in my room to stop me,” Pitch bantered back. He didn’t like that look Jack was giving Sandy. Especially because Jack hadn’t killed Sandy in the real world recently, and Pitch had. But no consequences were supposed to be brought here, right? That was the whole point of being human here, one didn’t have to fulfill or even think about their cosmic role…  
  
“Okay, focus,” Tooth interrupted. “Jack, you managed to avoid the events before. How?” She hurried over to stand very close to him—reassuringly close, thought Pitch. Well, it was at least reassuring to Pitch.  
  
“Well, um,”—Jack’s blush did not retreat. Would he be like this as a spirit if he had normal blood flow, Pitch wondered. “I eventually pestered one of the people with the organizer nametags into telling me what would happen if I and—that is, if I ignored them completely. And all they could give was the standard line about actions here having no real-world consequences. But the hosts would be disappointed.”  
  
“The hosts have never revealed themselves, ever,” Tooth said. “Isn’t that right, Sandy?”   
  
He nodded.  
  
“In that case I’m going to resist the guilt-tripping of the organizers,” she declared. “I’m going to throw away the schedule as soon as they give it to me. Or recycle it. This place looks like it has recycling.”  
  
“But, aren’t you concerned about the mystery of it?” Jack asked.  
  
The others shook their heads more or less emphatically. “It is strange, but it is true that there have never been any negative consequences,” North said. “For those of us who are not usually so human, it is uncomfortable, but it is always over within a few subjective days.”  
  
Jack thought about this for a moment. “Those organizers must be really good at guilt-tripping if anyone does any of the scheduled events at all.”  
  
“Well, sometimes people come to the outdoor games to, say, have an excuse to shoot the other contestants with a rifle instead of actually aiming for the paper targets,” Sandy commented. “I heard that the organizers were really calm about that, and of course no one died or faded. And you can stop looking at Pitch, Jack. He wasn’t there. The extra athletics seemed…unnecessary.”  
  
Jack narrowed his eyes, and while he had been slow to cotton on to his being betrayed, Pitch thought he might get through this equation faster and didn’t want to be just standing around when he did. “Right!” Pitch said. “Let’s find our rooms!” He whirled and marched away, leaving the other Guardians to catch up—their rooms had always been in a bloc, pantheon mixing was apparently not encouraged—but as he did so, he heard North saying something to Jack he was afraid he wasn’t going to be able to forget over the next few days.  
  
“…never know how long this will last. So if you want to suggest something, you must do so as soon as possible.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Tags and comments from Tumblr:
> 
> #the word you're looking for is conference
> 
> ksclaw said: oh hush Sandy. Pitch can order what he wants. (this doesn’t feel like blacksand so I’m confused by the tag)


End file.
